Passionate Pursuits

by Carol Miller
(Tavares, FL, USA)

First Novel: Master of Plans

I didn't even think about publishing a book! But it's never too late to discover a new passion in life.

We had it all...a happy marriage, a thriving business, an eighteen year partnership that was only getting better. Our full-service interior design firm established in 1979 in Fort Lauderdale was extremely successful. We had only begun to enjoy the best of times.

We completed thousands of commercial and residential projects, regionally and nationally, to include Fortune 500 companies. It was a satisfying and viable career. The best part was that my husband and I were able to work together in harmony 24/7. Quite a rare occurrence in itself.

We were working towards retirement to Gainesville. He was a staunch U of F fan and graduate - thought about lecturing at the college. I was planning to open an antique shop and perhaps write short stories. We settled in Orlando in 1992 as an interim move.

Business was booming in Central Florida. New projects poured into the office on a daily basis. That fall Larry became sick suddenly with a terrible illness. Horrified that no treatment in the world could prevent the spread of the disease, he died five short months later. He was only forty-six.

In one fast swoop, I lost my best friend, love and partner. Along with this great loss, I had to complete on-going projects, and then formally close a lucrative business.

It devastated me to sell that old clapboard colonial we resurrected and loved. Next I had to dispose of and pack up the lifetime that we had built together and move to a planned, but unfamiliar location - alone.

Since we co-founded the corporation, when Larry got sick I decided to close it. I didn't want another partner. He was irreplaceable, and it simply wouldn't be the same. I couldn't even think about returning to the business we had built together.

My daughter Tara, concerned about my well-being, encouraged me to work through my grief by writing it all down.

I sat at the newly purchased computer - tentatively at first. Spending countless hours rambling on about my past experiences in life, from the time I was a little girl growing up in New Jersey, to Larry's death.

I realized that there might be a story to tell.

I forced myself to get up each morning to peek at the foreign keyboard. Working through a myriad of mistakes, one time I completely deleted the entire text. Then my father passed away only fifteen months after my husband. I lost the second most important man in my life. The grieving started all over again.

Now I had to take care of my grief-stricken mother, so the book was put on hold.

After settling mom, I resumed the tedious task - trying to refocus, lamenting over the unfortunate set of circumstances - trying to assuage the pain.

I met a publisher/author from Orlando, and his reviewer critiqued the story. She suggested that I rewrite it in the first person and provided helpful advice.

With this input I finished the last chapter. I popped open a bottle of champagne to celebrate that this labor, through grief, was now complete, and I had produced a manuscript of love. But now, what was I going to do?

The birth of my first story, The Master of Plans, had become a reality. The saga parallels my life - an adventure and journey through failure and success. I know that Larry would have been proud of me.

I feverishly entered all the contests. Painstakingly queried traditional publishers and agents. Rejection! Rejection! Rejection! Well, you can't take criticism too seriously. Regardless, writing became a catharsis.

I attended a seminar presented by a local author, who encouraged me to self-publish. Sounded like a plan. When I read the statistics that only two percent of manuscripts submitted to traditional publishers are accepted each year, I decided to go the print on demand route.

I did this not fully understanding the publishing business and horrified to find out that 150,000+ books had been published that year alone. Further disappointed that retail bookstores, newspapers, some organizations, agents and traditional publishers frown upon self-published authors.

They don't acknowledge the POD existence - won't print a press release, not author-friendly and won't promote your book.

In the interim I started to write The Master of Plans Part II - not really knowing if I could pull off a substantive sequel.

I chronicled my life's makeover since Larry's death. I focused on the many life-style changes that I've made. It continues to follow the precariously winding path. It is a difficult journey, an adventure along the rocky road to acceptance and forgiveness. Although I have no idea how this love story might end - maybe it doesn't have an end?

After The Master of Plans placed second in the 2004 Royal Palm Literary Contest Romance category sponsored by the Florida Writer's Association, I remained hopeful, enthusiastic and determined.

I continue to write a third novel and to plan.

Although writing has truly helped me through my grief, I aspire for much more. I want writing to provide an income. But.would it be...could it be...possible?

I have started a publishing company called Defiance in Print. My first children's book, Maurice the Mole, won first place in the 2006 Royal Palm Literary Contest fiction picture book category sponsored by the Florida Writers Association as an unpublished manuscript. I have subsequently published it.

Unless you are famous or infamous you will never get rich writing, self-publishing and selling books. BUT...My motto remains: "You can never go back - you can only go forward."

~Carol A. Miller

Visit Carol's website.